New Thing #1: Hot Yoga


The story of my hot yoga experience, in which I do not die.

Let me admit, right up front, that I fully expected to HATE hot yoga. What few yoga poses I have attempted (usually in the cool-down portion of an aerobic workout video) I did not enjoy, and I don’t like exercising in the heat. But I felt I hadn’t given yoga a fair shake, and the closest studio to my house is Clarkston Hot Yoga. Ergo, Hot Yoga became Thing 1.

I signed up for a Thursday evening class, which I missed due to a massive traffic jam, so I ended up taking the class on Saturday morning. I was scared to take the class. Right before I was leaving work to go to the class on Thursday, a co-worker told me that the first time she tried it, she saw stars, and had to sit down to avoid passing out. This co-worker is in much better shape than I am. In fact, right now she is about eight months pregnant and is probably even now in better shape than I am, at least as far as yoga is concerned.

So before I went to the class I drank enough water to float a small dinghy.  My daughter told me to take a frozen water bottle to class with me, “or you will die.”  So I sloshed into the studio Saturday morning with my rock-hard water bottle and a mat and my health insurance card. I had to fill out a waiver absolving Clarkston Hot Yoga of any blame if I did, in fact, die during the class. With my confidence thus boosted, I took my mat and trudged to my doom.

The room was dim and sitar music was twanging, and about a dozen people were already in there (even though I was early), stretching and conspicuously breathing.  As advertised, it was hot. Like sauna hot, without the steam.  I did the few stretches I know and tried to look like I knew what I was doing. My smartest decision of the day was choosing a spot next to the wall, which would become my best friend.  Turns out my balance really sucks.

The instructor was cute and sweet and of course, extremely bendy. The first part of the class was composed of easy stretches, so I started to relax a little. Maybe I could survive this. Things got harder as we got into the middle of the class. I could do some of the poses, others I could do with modifications, and during the demonstration of some of them, I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. An actual quote from our instructor: “Just bend yourself in half . . . and breathe . . .”  There was one series that involved a lot of reaching back to theoretically grab your foot behind you. “That ain’t happenin'” became my mantra for this portion of the class.

About 15 minutes in, our instructor said, “It’s really hot in here today,” and because I’m a sarcastic bitch, my thought was, “Well spotted, Captain Obvious.” But then she actually went over to the thermostat and turned the heat down. So apparently for the first 15 minutes of class, we were doing Extra-Hot Yoga. And I lived to tell about it.

I did not see stars, or pass out, or have a heart attack. In fact, the biggest surprise of the day was that the heat was my favorite part of the class. It was kind of like slowly exercising while simultaneously having a hot bath. When I got done, I felt really loose and relaxed. And soaking wet.

I liked the relaxation, the heat, the calm feeling, the soothing music. The actual poses were still not my favorite thing to do. But the whole atmosphere of the place was soothing, so I signed up for more classes. And if you live anywhere near Clarkston, MI, let me tell you, they have a great deal for newbies at Clarkston Hot Yoga: thirty days of UNLIMITED classes for $39. They even let me count the $18 I spent for my first class as part of the $39, so I just had to pay an additional $21. And they are not paying me to tell you that. I wish they were, because I could use the money.


New Thing 2: Basic Coding

It seems like everybody knows how to do basic HTML coding these days. I am not part of that everybody. So this week I’m going to take a basic class in coding (I googled and there are many free classes online). After last week’s challenge, you could say I’m going from hot to code (rimshot, please!).  I’m hoping this will at least help me understand the web development guy at work, and maybe help me make the layout of this blog a little more interesting.


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